How in one day does he drag me back to day one?

Had a call from dipstick. He’s had something major happen within his family. It’s made him think.

He’s been thinking about the way he has treated me.
He’s been thinking about what he wants for my future.
He’s been thinking about what he wants for his future.

He’s has told me….

-He has a lot of love for me but doesn’t think he is in love with me. -He wants us to meet for coffee every few months to catch up.
-He wants to have my new address and wants us to write to each other weekly if possible. Bet she’s gonna love having m letter drop through her letterbox. -He is worried about my future.
-He’s worried I won’t cope on my own.
-He’s worried I will do something stupid (bit late for that but I didn’t tell him about that).
-He is extremely sorry for the things he said and the mental torture he put me though. -He cares deeply for me.
-He says I’m an amazing person and this is not my fault.
-He has to give this relationship with her a go as he has ‘made a commitment’ – that is a fucking joke. -He has found out I’m on meds and seeing a shrink and feels extremely guilty. -He thinks about me everyday.
-He says he will never get over me.
-He cries when he thinks about me.
-He went on holiday with her and thought of me everyday.

HE fucked someone else.
HE was moved in with someone else.
HE compared my sexual performance.
HE told me he was sick of having a fat girlfriend.
HE told me the guys he worked with had models for girlfriends and he was stuck with me.

I’ve told him I’ll agree to write to him and he can have my address.

Everyone I have told so far is freaking out when I said this so I haven’t given it him yet. Think I’m gonna take some time to think about it.

I’m exhausted after this phone call.

I take a diazepam and sleep for 4 hours.

I’m sitting here in tears I don’t know what to do.

He was so sweet and I love him so much.

I don’t know what to do.


One thought on “How in one day does he drag me back to day one?

  1. Did you say you are seeing a Counselor? I think you need to discuss with them about whether or not to give him your new address? I really am not sure that is best. I am doing better Because of the fact we are not in contact. I dread seeing my husband again or communicating again. I loved him once and I know getting in contact or even seeing him will open old wounds. I will not give him my new address, just the city.

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