Today is the non day!!

Can’t focus today.

House share is taking us to a places little bro wants to go.

I can’t think straight, cant focus – feel so disconnected.

It’s a bank holiday today so I wonder what they are doing.

I hate my life that I lead now – seems like its full of nothing, full of shadows.

I never signed up for this, never asked for it!

I feel so utterly lost.

Feel empty.

Feel alone.

Hurt.

Sad.

Broken.

Exhausted.

I’m starting to think I should have moved back to be with my family.

What’s an anniversary when the original event is no longer valid.

A day or 2 ago I felt I was going to pull myself out if this, I’m not so sure now.

I feel I need to cleanse my old life – start a new one – somewhere else. I feel I need to be someone else.

This 6 month house share will be my way if saving. Starting a nest egg. But what I do at the end of the 6 months I have no idea.

I feel like changing my name and being someone else. Like a snake I want to leave my skin behind. Leave the pain, the hurt, the longing, the regret and my old life behind.

I feel so utterly lost.

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