Call from Dad!

First of all Dipstick never replied to my email – which either means he’s on holiday with her or hasn’t checked emails – he’s a bit of a technophobe. Or of course he has and he’s informing me.

I’m happy to have vented still.

Dad called – I went into the garden so little bro didn’t hear.

I broke down – came the closest I’ve come to telling anyone back home about Black Thursday. I stopped short though. Couldn’t tell him, I have little bro here. I think they would be worried about how he is.

Having someone to look after this week has been great. He goes Sunday, I’m not looking forward to him leaving.

Dad asked me how exactly I feel, so I told him.

No future
No meaning
No life
No friends
No one is going to want me. Dipstick made this very clear.

I still feel broken

People tell me this is going to get better. Well 4 months down the line I’m still drinking. I’m still so fucking sad. I’m so fucking frustrated. Still can’t stop my stupid head from thinking about him.

I start boxing next week, I pray it helps.

Something to centre my mind.

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