Force myself to get on!!

The last 4 to 5 months have been a living hell. This morning I woke up feeling a little calmer than normal.

I decided as today was first day off in house share with no little bro I had to do something. I was up and out of bed my 9!

Quite good for me I must say.

Bank – sorted house share payment and dipstick monthly payment.

Work – fessed up about more regular Counciling.

Therapy – confirmed new therapist appointment.

Boxing – tonight I start a boxing class so I had to go by trainers.

Dinner – brought veg for dinner.

Managed all this by 12 so having a coffee in a new tiny independent coffee shop that little bro found.

Having a coffee then BANG – text appears from dipstick.

How are you?

How’s the new house?

I hope your ok?

It’s like a switch has been flipped I instantly start crying.

I’m thinking of when house share is up in 6 months time of going traveling around Europe.

Maybe distance will help?!

I’m worried though that time spent traveling will lead to less time to meet someone else and put down roots on the UK.

I feel so utterly lost.


2 thoughts on “Force myself to get on!!

  1. They always say that. ‘I hope your ok.” However, you texted first, it was a response. You don’t need to respond back. If you do, you wil be opening the line to more communication and you will cause yourself more pain. I know your pain. I am living it too.

  2. Agree with the above. Don’t respond. You are not obligated to respond. Is he a saved contact on your phone? I found it helpful to delete the contact. Contacts are people you need to call often or who you are pleased to hear from. He is neither. He should only get a number appear when he texts/calls. No name, definitely no picture. It helped me. Also, delete all messages after you read, immediately. Poof! And, when you are relaxing or enjoying a moment. Maybe turn off the phone for a little. Travel sounds exciting. I know your pain as well. Hugs.

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