Advice?!

I usually use my blog to try to vent some of the ramblings that clutter up my head.

Well today my lovely peeps I’d love a little wisdom from you!

I got a text from dipsticks mum today.

She is traveling to the island with the whole of dipsticks clan (I imagine its to meets ITs family).

She wants 2 things.

1 – my address – she wants to write to me and keep in contact.

2 – her and dipsticks sister want to take me out to lunch.

I don’t know if its a good idea to do any if it!

In my head this is how the meal goes.

Hi Mandy how are you?

Oh my life over, i see no point in living. I’ve probably got PTSD and I’m in therapy every week. I’m on 2 different meds and wish I’d died in my sleep on the 19th of April. Your sons ruined my life but enough about me. How’s dipstick and IT? Are her family good? Do you all get along? How’s their new home?

Doesn’t really flow well does it?

What should I do, his family are lovely?!

I’m very confused?!

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6 thoughts on “Advice?!

  1. I’ve been reading your blog since the beginning, though I’ve never commented before, but I felt compelled to now (especially as you asked for advice! )

    I’d give a lot of thought to denying those requests. Regardless of how nice his family is, every time you see them, or get a letter, or whatnot, it will bring up all the things you’ve been working hard at getting past. Far better (though harder) to cut contact, especially for your own well being. Cutting contact doesn’t have to be done rudely, it could be as simple as explaining that though they are lovely people, you need to make a clean break in order to heal.

    And it will be true, because it is. I left an abusive ex years ago, and for the first few years after, his family still tried to get in contact with me. Every time they did, it brought back everything I went through with him – none of which was pleasant.

    It really, truly is better to have a clean break – no matter how difficult. If you keep in contact, they will unwittingly keep dragging you back to this period in your life, even as you try to move forward.

    Either way, remember that it’s okay to be selfish, and this is the perfect time in your life to do things that benefit yourself because you want to, and not to do things that others expect you to do because of “propriety”. Society tends to overlook the care of self in favour of the care of others, which is messed up in my opinion.

    I hope it goes well for you, whatever you decide. ❤

    • Thank you for your kind words. I’m so so torn over what to do. I’ve still not responded to either request. I’m weighing my options, I still don’t see any meeting/letters adding any value to my new ‘life’. I’m going to try to look at this from my head rather than my heart.

      Thank you for reading and sharing, it means so much. ❤

  2. I agree with the fop blogger. You’ve read my blog so you know what happened with my husbands’ Aunt. Hontlyestly, it just keeps you tied to him by a thread and you don’t need to do that. You need to discover yourself now and who you are and what you want. This is the toughest journey ever. Believe me, I know. I’ve started crying at night again. But, I am making steps and getting some hope in the process and you will too. I’m here for you.

    • Thank you for your comments. It’s so hard and I’m trying to get by. I have real mixed feelings about seeing his family. I know dipstick still wants to be friends and I assume the same for his family too. It’s so hard I think I would be clinging to something that is no longer there. I hope things get better for you. I hope it all starts to improve.

      • That’s the exact problem I deal with now with HIM. HE wants to be friends. He doesn’t understand how broken I am. It is not possible yet. I can’t predict the future just like he could not predict this. But, you see how much our conversation put me back. Please be careful. I’d hate to see you go through this.

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