Why is it last night I was feeling pretty ok.
Downloading a dating app, thinking maybe I might like to go on a date – then today I’m feeling so so sad.
I felt like staying in bed this morning instead of going to work.
I feel like my life is over, like I have no future. It’s like I’d be better off ending it all.
There’s been no contact between me being okish last night and on the floor this morning.
I think I’m booking in for a cry on the bathroom floor when I get home.
Can’t focus, can’t see past what’s happened. I feel so utterly lost again this morning.
Is this the natural up and down of my life now because if it is I don’t want it.
Why do I spend so much of my life so sad and wishing I wast here.
I have a dark secret thought that hounds me when I feel low.
I wish I had died in my sleep on the 19th of April.
I would have been happy and not know this pain.
But I didn’t and I do so I suppose I better stop hiding in the ladies loo and go do some work before I drive myself deeper down.
Still not decided about dipsticks family.