My last post opened up more than I thought.
I had a bit of a panic attack after writing it.
Had to have a diazepam and a nap.
I feel disjointed and disconnected.
I’ve got therapy and boxing tomorrow so I’m hoping that’s going to help.
I feel like I’m standing in the middle of tornado.
The remnants of my old life are whirling around me.
At one point ill see a old photo fly past followed by a old CD that sparks a memory.
My life is a minefield, every text from dipstick is a little grenade.
My little house of cards is obliterated by every little grenade, every word like a little knife stabbing me in the eye, the heart.
After waking from my nap I’ve curled up on the sofa with a blanket and tea.
I’ve put my copy of Bridget Jones on.
The crying in the bath scenes reminds me of my own bath crying.
On the plus side I see Bridget was mid 30s before she met her Mark.
That means I’ve got 10 years!!
I need to change my life.
I need to move on.
I need to connect with my anger.