Lost and caged

My last post opened up more than I thought.

I had a bit of a panic attack after writing it.

Had to have a diazepam and a nap.

I feel disjointed and disconnected.

I’ve got therapy and boxing tomorrow so I’m hoping that’s going to help.

I feel like I’m standing in the middle of tornado.

The remnants of my old life are whirling around me.

At one point ill see a old photo fly past followed by a old CD that sparks a memory.

My life is a minefield, every text from dipstick is a little grenade.

My little house of cards is obliterated by every little grenade, every word like a little knife stabbing me in the eye, the heart.

After waking from my nap I’ve curled up on the sofa with a blanket and tea.

I’ve put my copy of Bridget Jones on.

The crying in the bath scenes reminds me of my own bath crying.

On the plus side I see Bridget was mid 30s before she met her Mark.

That means I’ve got 10 years!!

I need to change my life.

I need to move on.

I need to connect with my anger.

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2 thoughts on “Lost and caged

  1. Hey!
    Hold in there! You won’t feel like this forever! I am heartbroken that my marriage is over and it’s all got so nasty so quickly but it’s do or die!! No-one ever is worth ruining your future! Dig deep, it’s not easy but try find you again! I fooking hate my life but very slowly, everyday it’s getting a tiny bit easier! Lots of hugs xxx

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