He got through the door and smiled at me
you OK love?, i didn’t expect you to be up still.
i tried to call you
yer sorry i saw, lets go to bed ah, you look sleepy.
did something happy tonight with you and ***?
i don’t know what you mean.
i mean what i say did anything happen?
i’m too tiered for this and your being odd, lets go to sleep.
so i did, i laid in bed and didn’t go to sleep but instead stared at the ceiling to scared to ask the question. i was full of fear – white hot fear – it wrapped around my heart and burnt me. it hurt, a lot, the fear of a million things running around my head at once. FEAR come out of every cell of me.
Oi you ignorant women, next time i wave at you don’t run off. Have i upset you?
I genuinely have not the slightest idea what you are talking about! Are you OK?
I just saw you down the sea front snuggling with *****, i waved. you didn’t even acknowledge me!
About 2 hours ago!
Mand?! You there?
***** is out with some work mates. I’m at home………..
Oh right. Well i could have been wrong. I’ve been drinking, sorry love. You know me. I’m sure iv cocked up.
Yer sure babe, no prob, I’ve gotta go, see ya.
I sat there – for how long i’m not quit sure. i had a feeling in my stomach that was like a brick had taken up nest in there. i knew he had picked a female work colleague up for a work do.
I picked up my phone – text-ed him twice – rung him twice.
He didn’t pick up
He came home 3 hours later at 3am